First Aid with Dr. Seuss

Though I do not like green eggs and ham,

I do enjoy the maize and blue

So as I see a book yellow and blue, with just a touch of red too:

First Aid for the USMLE Step 1, alongside it, Step 2

I yell out Oh how joyful! A book surely for me!

On to a middle page, what do I see?

Naked Klinefelter’s on page 473…

Oh my, this cannot be, a book so colorful must be for glee!

And does this make any sense?

A mnemonic for Class IA Sodium blockers that lacks intelligence:

“The Queen Proclaims Diso’s pyramid.”

What the hell does that mean? That’s the best they could have said?

And in HemOnc I read “Baste the ox TAIL.” Yet another noteworthy fail!

I cannot use this book First Aid 2010,

not with a highlighter nor with a pen,

not on a boat nor in a coat,

not on a house nor with a mouse.

So I run to my roommate and his pal Luke Li.

(You know, the guy who emails about his ticket site every Fall –

and despite it, amazing how much SPAM we get for football)

Oh wise M3s!

What were athors Le, Chushan, and Vasan thinking writing up half of these?

“Their English is off, maybe they’re FMGs.”

“But fortunately you don’t need much from this,

just enough to convince the gremlins Grekin and Grum you know

some pathophys.”

And before I could say That doesn’t quite rhyme, dear M3 amateur,

you just ruined the pseudo-iambic pentameter,

I realized I don’t recall much from M1 or M2,

yet somehow I remember asymmetric dimethylarginine from Uncle Lou…

So screw First Aid with its info half out-of-date,

I’m running back to the SPH!



  1. Hahaha! Step 1 studying at its finest!

    Comment by Jessica Woodward — October 23, 2011 @ 8:53 pm
  2. randomly came across this… hilarious!!!

    Comment by Jon Helfin — June 13, 2018 @ 12:34 pm
  3. Stumbled across this! Hilarious!

    Comment by Michael May — December 9, 2018 @ 10:43 pm
  4. Stumbled across this! Hilarious!

    Comment by Michael May — December 9, 2018 @ 10:43 pm

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