Illustration by Priya Rajdev

She grew up in a fat-free town
Had some hot lookin’ genes, but HDL was not around
Her spleen got big
Her liver wasn’t right
Her orange tonsils made the boys take flight

She moved down here
She had a faulty gene
Blew the docs away, she was more than they’d seen

I was introduced
We were both having fun
But she’s got 2 recessive genes at her ABC1

Mutant Genes for Maryjane
Cholesterol can’t cross the cell membrane
Feel my arteries narrowin’ in
And I’m wishin’ for my HDL’s again

I don’t know but I’ve been told
The ABC1 is on the 9^thchromosome
I’m tired of screwin’ up
My proteins not around
To get cholesterol
Outta cell town

Oh my, my, oh, hell yes
My lipid storage genes are such a mess
Buy me a base
Fix what’s wrong
Or take me as I am
Cause I won’t last long

Mutant Genes for Maryjane
Cholesterol can’t cross the cell membrane
Feel my arteries narrowin’ in
And I’m wishin’ for my HDL’s again