Hypochondria

Ever since lecture content has become more “clinical” I have been diagnosing myself unconsciously and profusely with every sort of illness and disease. This has sadly led me to conclude that I have only ten days to live (or less) and I should also drink more water to prevent end-stage renal failure.

So, on this night in the interim of my last ten days to live, I wanted to impart on to the world something of lasting value because, alas, as a poor medical student, I do not have anything else to leave as an inheritance.

I want to leave the greatest thought I have ever thought. It is so magnificent and profound that Einstein in all his patent-office days would not have thought it. It is so prophetic and, daresay, spiritual, that if it were not canonized, I would expect it to at least form a new apocrypha.¬† It is the finest thought ever thought by me, imbued with all the experience, virtue, love, fear, instincts, visceral passions, of this interrupted youth’s life.

What is the thought? I am well aware of this buildup and I will now proceed. I must type quickly, to tell you because I have also been (self)diagnosed with rapidly progressing acute peripheral neuropathy, due to a late-onset type I diabetes, triggered by a hypersensitivity to a tuft of M. furfur that is lodged in my mitral valve. I must type quickly before the disease consume my fine motor skills. Oh, no…there they go. They are waning. Ever. so. evidently. and now, htye rea ogne.!ihst

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