UofM to Pledge $45 Million Against “Other”

Dr. Ora Pescovitz proudly announced today that the University of Michigan would begin a $45 million campaign against “other,” an alarmingly common condition. The seeds of this campaign took root when Dr. Pescovitz attended some UofM Medical School lectures, and discovered that, along with smoking, hypertension, and diabetes, “other” was among the top four causes of cardiovascular disease. “The time has come for us stop illness at its source,” she declared, after also discovering that, along with heart failure, pneumonia, and renal failure, “other” was among the major causes of pulmonary edema. “In fact,” Dr. Pecovitz stated, “even a casual look through medical textbooks shows that ‘other’ is behind almost every disease known to man.” Despite being notoriously difficult to define, a poll of medical students showed that 95% believe that they are at risk for “other.” “Our professors often refer to it as ‘The Great Imitator’ since it can look like so many other diseases,” said Thomas Tokaz, a second year medical student. “I’m thinking about doing my residency in it, but I’m not sure I want to do something so focused.”



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