After 9+ years in various labs, it’s time to face the facts: there are such things as ‘mad’ scientists.

Frustration with flow cytometry:
“If you were to FLOW me, it would look bad.”

Maintain a lab notebook!:
“The difference between science and failure is writing s#@! down.” 

When you are ready to drop-kick Microsoft Excel, as if it were to blame for the poor qPCR plots:
“I’m not a fan of this data.”

2 beers into lab lunch:
“Today is a NO day.”

On flying small rickety jet planes:
“…and that’s when you lose voluntary control of your muscles.”

Overly honest methods?:
“It’s my new trend: no more statistics! If it’s not significant enough to see it on the graph, then it’s NOT significant.”

It’s a hard-not life:
“The fact that you have the choice of taking or leaving your sanity behind is impressive. I lost mine the day I emerged from the womb. I haven’t found it yet.”

Goofy Smile by Ania B. Owczarczyk.

We all have off days:
“Do you have any NACKLE to dilute the ketamine?”  
“You mean…saline, NaCl?”

Uh, don’t let scientists go hungry:
“I got more T cells than I needed.”
“Oh, are they edible?!”

C’est la vie!
“Thinking is hard, but it’s usually worth it.”

No, trusting is not recommended:
“Is this how dementia feels? I’m young!”
“You are over 30.”
“Is that when things start to happen?”
“Yea, things start clicking differently. Not to scare you or anything…but I’m almost a doctor, you should trust me.”

Medical students and graduate students alike need more Zzzz:
“I’m jealous of this printer.”
*pokes at screen*
“Sleep mode ON.”

Focus, just FOCUS:
“It’s hard to concentrate.”
“Your effort to concentrate is diluted…”

Optimism in the face of confusing results:
“It is cloudy, but it will soon become clearer.”