Ann Arbor, MI— A computer located in the University of Michigan Learning Resource Center has been identified as a virtual portal between human beings and their Na’vi counterparts on Pandora, the environmental utopia first depicted in James Cameron’s documentary “Avatar.” When reached for comment, LRC technology specialist Jason Engling struggled to explain the link: “We don’t really know how it works; all we really know is that students who appear to be napping at the computer wake up and claim that they are blue, 10 feet tall and have the ability to have intercourse using their ponytails.” Engling continued, “The real concern here is the potential for computer shortage–between this and our ongoing Facebook seminars, we’re really running low on space.”

Surfing the worldwide biobotanical neural network.