Proctologist Battles Accusations of “Come-On”

James Madison, a proctologist at the University of Michigan has crossed the lines of professionalism, according to Joseph Kadzinski, a local college frat brother.  “I went to see this doctor dude and then next thing I know he’s all asking me to pull down my pants and checking out my ass.  What is that?!  I thought this was America!”  Kadzinski, a senior, says he is considering legal action, but doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fit it into his busy academic schedule.  “I’m really just focused on chilling with my bros before graduation.”



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