Students Live Rough Life in ‘White Coat Ghetto’

Ann Arbor, MI

Though Ann Arbor has long been considered a idyllic college town, one immune from the dangers that plague America’s inner cities, one small sector in this University city is increasingly mounting a challenge to that rule: the white coat ghetto.  Inhabited primarily by Medical students at the University of Michigan and area drug lords, the ghetto is a bleak and barren place.  Empty cans of Busch Light litter the snow-draped landscape, next to torn pages from Netters textbooks and the occasional plastic shopping bag from Kroger which residents reportedly are forced to use for sexual contraception given their inability to afford proper condoms.  The sounds of ambulance sirens are often heard down the road.

A white coat drug dealer

Most residents live off some form of economic assistance from the federal government and can barely afford to provide daily subsistence for themselves.  “I don’t know what I’d do without the free lunches at Career Seminars,” another anonymous resident exclaimed.  “I guess I’d probably go to Jimmy John’s.”

Gang members loiter in packs, ostensibly claiming to be “on the way to class” or “going to study,” when in fact they are “peddling smack” or “robbing small children of their lunch money.”

Longtime resident Eileen McKinnon said she feared for the safety of herself and her child: “People here are always talking about some room where they go to cut up lots of dead bodies.  Does that sound like a safe place to raise a child to you?!”

Though the Ann Arbor Police department refused to comment on the situation, it’s clear that the city faces an uphill battle in making this so-called “White Coat Ghetto” a safe and liveable place again.  The safety of its residents and indeed, the city of Ann Arbor, depends upon it.



  1. Hey Owen: I got another parking ticket notice dated 5-11-12 with my old plate number on it. I will be writing the Dean of the Medical school in regard to your deportment. Take care of this.

    Ralph Pasola

    Comment by Ralph Pasola — June 20, 2012 @ 11:52 am

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