Beeturia
Most enjoyable of maladies
Peeing is always wonderful. Someone once said that boys get 67% the pleasure of an orgasm just by urinating, but they lied about that. Most statistics are lies. Plus, there’s no way that wouldn’t need some qualification. To get even close to 2/3 the joy of sex, you’d need to add all your best pee qualifiers.
Jump in the frigid, salty Atlantic; pee to keep yourself warm.
Sun yourself on the porch after swimming, dripping.
Wander off in the woods, but don’t get poison oak up your ass.
Melt the snow in the middle of a long Sunday run, admiring the yellow river weaving into the ice.
Walk over the bridge, toward the hospital, peeing with fear – or excitement.
Eat beets and it’ll be beautifully pink.
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