Classgoer flowchart

I am one of dying breed.  Each blessed morning, I drag my M-tuchas to the Gerry D. Abrams inaugural lecture hall at 8:10 or 9:10 am (ish) and assume my customary place in the back of the room (LEFT SIDE, STRONG SIDE).  From this vantage point, I have the unique opportunity to observe the various academic and social dynamics of 50-odd M1s who regularly attend class.  Plus, it’s my only real chance to fraternize with and eavesdrop upon the professor-types with whom I share a surprisingly comfortable, bright-red cushion.

Who are these mythical class-goers, you ask?  What drives them to stumble en masse towards WLH at daybreak, like so many zombies in pursuit of savory, succulent brains?  Why is it that Dr. Imperiale has such impeccable taste in footwear?

In answering the above questions, allow me to first shed some light into my own decision-making, re: “chalk dust torture.”

I consider reaching the med school each morning to be a personal victory.  As an underclassman, I spent an inordinate amount of time in my dorm room, plowing through chemistry lecture videos at 2X speed while my Romanian roommate blasted gypsy techno on his Soviet-era headset.  A sad truth.  So, I resolved prior to reaching the “bright lights, big city” of our fair A2, to join the ranks of the folks who plant their collective rear in monochromatic seats every day.  And things have worked out fine. So far.

Given my past experience on both sides of the fence, I had developed some stereotypes regarding the rationale behind both extremes: the compulsive, perpetual class-goer and the “preclinical ghosts” whom you were not aware existed until you sat next to them at an MDC last week.  To flesh out these perceptions with some “facts,” I quickly touched base with a half-dozen or so classmates from each camp to hear their reasons for either making to Med Sci II each day or avoiding it like was full of plague-infested prarie dogs.  Here is an analysis, in handy flowchart form, of the selective pressures and thought processes that have created various subspecies of a) Lecturis whoris and b) Videosa pausei.