LARP Chat Room

“Live Action Role Play (LARP)—a type of game where a group of people wear costumes representing a character they create to participate in an agreed fantasy world. Uses foam sticks as swords, foam balls as magic and other props to create the games world.” (Urban Dictionary)

Shadows of the Middle Realm [LARP CHAT ROOM: 5/12/10]

Tomorrow we battle, but tonight…we feast!

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 11:01 AM

Citizens of Gondor!  Tis I—Sir Lancefield of Agathon!  Doth I detect a distinct smell in the air…Could it be roast lambshank, spittering slowly over a hearty flame?  Perhaps ‘tis the sweet scent of the fair wench Roslynn, wafting gingerly to mine nostrils…Hmmm…nay, this smell is of a different beast—the smell of oncoming battle with the savages that call Azaroth home!!  Petty fools they are!!  We shall smite them with our swords and then salt the earth with their entrails!!  But tonight, fair kinsmen of Gondor, let us feast!!  Huzzah Gondor!

Not so fast, Sir Lancefield

Sir Frederick of Chapleton, 12:22 PM

Methinks thy tongue be quicker than thy sword, fair Agathon!  Dost thou truly thinkst Gondor shall undo fair Azaroth in battle?  Gods be praised, such tomfoolery would I expect from the court jester, but ne’er from the son of royalty!  Perhaps thou hast been too busy pressing thine lips ‘gainst the hindcheeks of thine companion, Friar Welchester! Away with thee, Lancefield!! Hail Azaroth!

Damn thee, Sir Chapleton!

Friar Welchester of Agathon, 12:29 PM

Thy shots landst lower than the belt, Frederick of Chapleton!  Sir Lancefield and I beith kinsmen, not lovers!  We share a bond of manly camaraderie, forged through years of valorous combat and a shared love of the early of work the minstrel Michael Bolton.  Thou art a saucy coxcomb, indeed!

Well said, Friar Welchester!  Now…to battle!

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 12:44 PM

Huzzah, Friar Welchester!  But please, let us settle this spat upon the field of battle.  Lead thine army, Chapleton, to the parking lot behind Taco Bell off Packard Road—arrive whenst the cock crows five, thenst shall we see upon whom lady laughter shall bestow her final blessing!


Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 1:35 PM

Mine humble masters at Fedex Kinkos doth not permit me to depart ‘fore five.  Upon the stroke of six must we battle.

Thou art a bumcock, Agathon!

Sir Frederick of Chapleton, 1:58 PM

Thy masters at Fedex Kinkos merely delay thy inevitable defeat, Agathon!  And if thou art true in thy professions of platonic relations with Friar Welchester, why be it that I didst see both of thee holding hands at the Friday showing of The Blind Side starring the disgraced wench, Lady Sandra Bullock?

May the Gods spite thee, Chapleton!

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 2:11 PM

Count thyself warned, Chapleton—NEVER usith the name of the noble Lady Bullock in vain!  Thy punishment shall be a close encounter—WITH THE SHARP EDGE OF MY BLADE!!  Damn thee, thy flatulent poppycock!  There beith nothing betwixt Welchester and I—NOTHING I SAY!!

Here here, Lancefield!

Friar Welchester of Agathon, 2:13 PM

Huzzah Lancefield!  Thy words beith as true as the smile beith radiant.  And thine bravery in battle beith rivaled only by the sinewy thickness of thine god-like thighs.  Methinks I doth detect a pride in mine heart, a pride which I hath not felt since that night in Cancun when we jello-wrestled and consummated our undying bonds of brotherhood with a torrid night of raw—

[Friar Welchester of Agathon has been removed by the chatroom administrator at 2:13 PM.]

Some clarification

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 2:13 PM

Oh weird, where did Friar Welchester go?  Methinks he must have left to tend to some livestock.  Hail Gondor!

Methinks I detect foul play

Sir Frederick of Chapleton, 2:21 PM

Forsooth I say, thy addlepated rumpskin!  Thou hast removed thine accomplice and lover from this noble chatroom in thine capacity as administrator!

Take it back, thy beef-witted flaxwench!

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 2:26 PM

A thousand curses upon thine honor, Chapleton, thou cantankerous foreskin!  Thou art the one who wast fired from Quiznos and currently lives with thine parents on a pull-out couch.

Take it back, Steve.

Sir Frederick of Chapleton, 2:27 PM

That’s a real low blow—we’re in a recession and there aren’t lots of jobs for sandwich artists right now.

You’re not an “artist,” Rick.

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 2:31 PM

And your sandwiches taste like ass.

You’re a first-class douche, Steve.

Sir Frederick of Chapleton, 2:33 PM

I don’t need to take this crap.

[Sir Frederick of Chapleton has left the chatroom at 2:34 PM.]

[Friar Welchester of Agathon has entered the chatroom at 3:01 PM.]

Hark! I hath returned!

Friar Welchester of Agathon, 3:02 PM

Not unlike the mystic phoenix from its ashes!  Now where were we—let us end the reign of Gondor, Lancefield!  Surely tonight we shall toast to the gods!  Onward, Azaroth!

Shut up, Brian

Sir Lancefield of Agathon (admin.), 3:04 PM

We’re not in the mood.

[Sir Lancefield of Agathon has left the chatroom at 3:05 PM.]


Friar Welchester of Agathon, 3:09 PM

Does this mean we’re breaking up?



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