April 20th, 2010

Euler's constant

Despite attaining dual doctorates in mathematics, Dr. Laura Reingold, PhD, PhD, will be receiving no honors or praise for her decade-long stint as math teacher at Ann Arbor Middle School (AAMS). Her student evaluations paint a picture of a perplexing and perplexed teacher who answers questions with bizarre expressions. One of her students spoke with us. “She’s always shouting things, like ‘65% is almost four times 22%!’ or ‘the train to the superhouse leaves Chicago at 4:15 pm at a speed of 150mph, because I went to Harvard. Twice.’ I don’t even know what a percent is, thanks to her!”

Owen Chapman, principal of AAMS, explained the school’s position. “We can’t fire her because we think she’s ‘disabled.'” His slow wink and tap of his forehead are full of pathos. Dr. Reingold’s thesis “Mathematical Singularities in Statistics and Addition” was neither well received nor respected by the international community. Nevertheless, she remains adamant. “I really did go to Harvard.”