In the summer of 1999, the parents of Briya Brajdev promised her that she could go to Space Academy, a Space Camp for older children. Instead, however, they sent her to a regular old sleepaway camp and just told her that it was a space camp, paying off the counselors to keep up the charade.

Day 1

Dear Diary,

Dear Journal,

Dear Space Journal,

Greetings from Space Academy! What a busy day! I knew that training for space would be difficult, but it is turning out to be a lot more intense and physically demanding than I thought it would be. Today, we began the water-sports portion of our space training. The water-skis really teach you a lot about teamwork, balance, and upper-body strength. I really have to work on that last one, it turns out!

Until tomorrow,
Briya

Hi Space Diary,

Initiate launch sequence!

Lots more physical training today. In the morning, we did an obstacle course, and played a few hours of tennis. Later, we made paper-mâché animals. We are really training hard to develop hand-eye coordination! These activities must make the astronauts good at operating the giant space shuttle arms. Maybe I can try the shuttle arm when we go to space later this week! Just kidding! We are not really going into space. But this afternoon at lunch when I was waiting in line at the galactic mess hall, I suddenly remembered that in all the brochures I read on the internet about space camp, they talk about the simulated mission at the end of the week. I can’t wait! I wonder if I will be captain. Or maybe I can be the ship engineer because I am good at computers.

Have to go to bed! Tomorrow is the auditions for the all-camp talent show! Or as I like to call it, the interplanetary conference of the arts! Ha-ha!

Bye,
Bri-dawg (this is my new nickname at camp!)

Dear Galactic Log,

Space waterskis!

I am beginning to wonder about this space camp. Have there been a lot of cut-backs recently? It has been three days and we still haven’t seen the museum, the astronauts’ quarters, or the interstellar duty-free gift shop. I really wanted to stock up on freeze dried ice cream, but I fear that may not get the chance to before the big mission at the end of this week.

I am tired. In two days, we have something called color war, which I can only assume is an activity that prepares the astronauts for the inevitable space war with the Russians. Unfortunately, I am on team red.

ttfn,
Briya

Day 4

Dear REGULAR diary,

Today we made model rockets, and I made the mistake of asking when we were going to launch them. Guess what the space camp counselor said to me? “Oh no we are not launching these. That is too much of an insurance liability.”

I am now positive that this is not a real space camp, because I know that NASA would never NOT use tax dollars to buy something super-important and not at all trivial, like Model Rocket Insurance. This place is a sham! But, you know what? They cannot stop me from realizing my dreams. Yes…tomorrow, an unauthorized launch sequence shall be initiated…

Stay tuned,
Agent Brajdev

Space Diary,

Top secret mission.

This shall be my final transmission to you. I tried to launch the camp into space today. It took all the model rockets we built yesterday, plus several additional gallons of rocket fuel, which I found in a large red canister in the arts and crafts shed. I also took a roll of crêpe paper, which came in handy when I found myself in need of post-launch celebratory streamers.

Unfortunately, the camp did not get very far off the ground. Actually, it burned right into the ground. My calculations were way off: surprisingly, the cumulative potential energy contained in the camp’s 20 wooden log cabins does not translate into the kinetic energy required to escape the Earth’s gravitational field. It turns out, it was only enough kinetic energy for a personal last-day-of-camp marshmallow roast, which I actually enjoyed thoroughly. When everyone returned from Color War, they, too, seemed very surprised. They must have miscalculated, as well.

Over and out,
Space Camp Cadet Brajdev